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Five Spices From Chairman Damon

Log on to this page after each round of games for the lowdown on how each team fared. He’s harsh, but fair and you won’t find anything quite like it elsewhere. Enjoy our Chairman’s pithy post match analysis of the overpaid heroes and goats that make up the “Happy Band” of the EPL. If you're in the prawn sandwich and skim latte club, or part of the "Dippy Darling" brigade this column is not for you!!

Who's hot? Who's not? Who's left their bottle at home? Watch this space carefully as the season unwinds.

Who was hot before?  Visit Damon's 2008/09 season archives to find out!

Previous Analysis:

Round Two.... Round One.... World Cup Denouement.... World Cup 2nd Round.... World Cup 1st Round Pt 3

Spurs And City Slip

 

Aston Villa 1 - Everton 0

Villa put recent travails behind them in seeing off struggling Everton in Birmingham. The Toffees have endured a poor start to the campaign but started the better at Villa Park, only to go behind within ten minutes as Luke Young curled in a good finish after being sent through by namesake Ashley. The setback didn't change the pattern of the first half and Villa would have been relieved to still be ahead at the half-time whistle. The home side improved in the second period as they sat looking to hit their visitors on the break and Marc Albrighton should have put them two up only to slash his effort wildly over the bar when it looked easier to hit the target. As it was, Everton's lack of cutting edge cost them again and they are left still looking for a first win of the season.

 

Blackburn Rovers 1 - Arsenal 2

Arsenal fight out a narrow win at Ewood Road to stay in second place. Rovers subjected the Londoners to an early aerial bombardment and Cesc Fabregas was forced to clear a Ryan Nelsen header off the line. The Gunners hit back and took the lead on twenty minutes when Theo Walcott finished off a trademark swift counter attack, tucking away Robin van Persie's through-ball. The home side were back on terms seven minutes later, after Christopher Samba produced some surprisingly nifty footwork before setting El Hadj Diouf away past a static Laurent Koscielny and the ever-popular Senegalese squared for Mame Biram Diouf to tap home his first Blackburn goal. Six minutes after the break, Arsenal restored their lead as Andrei Arshavin pounced to slam in a loose ball after a Fabregas effort had been blocked and they were able to hold on to register their first away win since March.

 

Blackpool 2 - Fulham 2

Fulham grab a late equaliser to deny Blackpool a deserved first Premier League win at Bloomfield Road. The Seasiders began strongly but went behind against the run of play ten minutes before the break, as Bobby Zamora headed in Moussa Dembele's cross, after the new Fulham man appeared to have got away with fouling Ian Evatt. Elliott Grandin looked to have equalised, only to see his effort perhaps harshly disallowed for Luke Varney's earlier challenge on David Stockdale. The home side did draw level with twenty minutes left when John Pantsil couldn't get out of the way after Stockdale had parried a Varney drive and they then took the lead when Varney drilled a finish past Stockdale five minutes later. It looked as if the Tangerines were on course for a first home win but, with three minutes left, Dickson Etuhu ran through onto Dembele's incisive pass to make it three draws from three for the Cottagers.

 

Bolton Wanderers 2 - Birmingham City 2

Ten-man Bolton come back from two goals down to earn a draw at home to Birmingham. City were the slicker side and went ahead after just three minutes; James McFadden finding the galloping Lee Bowyer with a great reverse pass and the ex-England man's cross was slid home by Roger Johnson. Things got worse for the Trotters five minutes before the break when Jussi Jaaskelainen received his marching orders for bitch-slapping Johnson after an innocuous-looking collision and the Blues made the most of their advantage five ten minutes later when Craig Gardner converted from Cameron Jerome's knock-down. Bolton responded well, however, and were thrown a lifeline when referee Kevin Friend inexplicably gave them a penalty after Johnson and Kevin Davies had clashed in the air, with Davies steering his penalty high to Ben Foster's left. With ten minutes remaining, their never-say-day attitude was further rewarded when substitute Robbie Blake curled a fantastic free-kick over and round the wall to bring them level, after Friend suffered another halucination just outside the box.

 

Chelsea 2 - Stoke City 0

Chelsea maintain their 100% start to the season with a comfortable home win against Stoke. City, no doubt mindful of the way the Londoners have started the season, not to mention the mauling they were given in this fixture last year, set out to try and frustrate their hosts with a five-man defence and were on the back foot from the start. Ashley Cole could have put the Blues ahead within five minutes, only to drag his effort wide, and then an out-of sorts Frank Lampard spurned the opportunity to give his side the lead from the penalty spot on the quarter-hour with a scuffed effort Thomas Sorensen saved with ease. The home side finally broke the deadlock ten minutes before the interval after John Terry surged out of defence and Florent Malouda emphatically finished the centre-back's delicate through-ball. Cole then hit the bar with an acrobatic volley and Didier Drogba headed a second-half effort straight at Sorensen before Glenn Whelan almost brought the Potters back into the game with a rasping drive that crashed back off Petr Cech's crossbar. With a quarter of an hour left, however, Sorensen rashly came out to challenge Nicolas Anelka for a long through ball and, after he'd taken the striker out, Drogba converted the spot-kick with minimal fuss.

 

Liverpool 1 - West Bromwich Albion 0

Liverpool get a first win on the board after narrowly overcoming West Brom at Anfield. The Reds were far from at their best and were easily contained by an industrious Albion side during the game's early stages. Twenty minutes into the second half, Fernando Torres was finally able to make his class tell, volleying home Dirk Kuyt's cross on the end of a rapid counter-attack, following Pepe Reina's save from Gonzalo Jara. Neither side have yet fully found their form but the hosts had enough about them to close the game out and were given a helping hand late on when James Morrison saw red for a mis-timed fifty-fifty challenge with Torres. It's too early in the season to say with any certainty what either side's prospects are this year but, whilst it's a fair guess to state the Baggies will be largely fighting for survival, on this showing Liverpool's chances of silverware look equally remote.

 

Manchester United 3 - West Ham United 0

Manchester United make short work of West Ham at Old Trafford. After a slow start, the home side eventually built up a head of steam as the first half progressed and the pressure eventually told when Jonathon Spector mistimed his challenge on Ryan Giggs in the box. Wayne Rooney, without a goal since the second world war, apparently, sent Robert Green the wrong way as he converted from the spot easily. It was two just five minutes into the second half, when Nani embarked on a run after collecting Rooney's pass and, in the absence of any meaningful challenge, rifled the ball past Green. The Hammers briefly threatened, with Keiron Dyer striking a low effort against a post, but a comeback always looked unlikely and Dimitar Berbatov spectacularly volleyed a third with twenty minutes left. The defeat leaves West Ham rooted to the foot of the table and, though these are very early days, looking like a side in a bit of trouble.

 

Sunderland 1 - Manchester City 0

Sunderland upset title hopefuls City with a late winner at the Stadium of Light. The Black Cats looked side with much more purpose than they showed in last week's defeat to West Bromwich Albion and caused their visitors a couple of early problems, without unduly troubling Joe Hart. The Mancunians eventually settled and should have gone ahead on the quarter hour, when Yaya Toure surged out of midfield before squaring to Carlos Tevez. Incredibly, with an empty net to aim at, the Argentine settled himself before spooning a Sunday League effort over the bar. Toure was then denied by a Simon Mignolet block just before half-time, when the Ivorian should have done better, and Sunderland made full use of the respite, coming out for the second half meaning business. Despite the home side's pressure, substitute Emmanuel Adebayor was just denied when his flick was well kept out by Mignolet. However, with the clock running down, a clumsy challenge by Micah Richards on Darren Bent, as the striker tried to reach the impressive Ahmed Al-Muhammadi's cross, gave Mike Dean a chance to point to the spot and Bent picked himself up to convert. 

 

Tottenham Hotspur 0 - Wigan Athletic 1

Wigan piss on Tottenham's chips in no uncertain fashion as they take a deserved win from White Hart Lane. Spurs, who should have been on a high after qualifying for the Champions' League in midweek, gave every impression of a side expecting to just have to turn up in order to win. They were disabused of that notion by a Latics side who'd conceded eighteen goals without reply in their previous three league games and who had been dumped out of the League Cup by lower league opposition in midweek. Wigan were full of tenacious endeavour and could have taken the lead a couple of time over during a first half in which Steven Gohouri smashed an effort against the bar. Tottenham belatedly responded through a couple of Jermain Defoe efforts, the first well stopped by Ali Al Habsi and the second going just wide. The Londoners failed to step things up after the break and, sensing their chance, the visitors carved out three good chances in quick succession. Alvaro Alcaraz somehow managed to spoon an effort over the bar from five yards with the goal gaping, before Jordi Gomez sent an effort narrowly over at full stretch. When a third chance fell to Hugo Rodallega, the striker found the corner of the net under Carlo Cudicini's poor effort at a save and an upset was on the cards. Tottenham finally attacked with something like urgency but, with Al Habsi in good touch, were unable to make their chances count and Roberto Martinez's side headed back up to Lancashire with all three points.

 

Wolverhampton Wanderers 1 - Newcastle United 1

Wolves and Newcastle end all even after a rugged affair at Molineux. United started the better but found their opponents in pugnacious mood and couldn't find a way through. The Wanderers midfield were clearly up for a physical challenge and gleefully took turns in leathering lovable Joey Barton up and down the pitch, collecting yellow cards as they went. They took the lead against the run of play just before the break, when Sylvan Ebanks-Blake pulled Jelle van Damme's cross out of the air with the outside of his boot before crashing a shot beyond Steve Harper. Matthew Jarvis then saw a second half penalty appeal waved away by Stuart Atwell after the winger looked to have been caught by a reckless James Perch. Defeat would have been harsh on the Magpies and they deservedly drew level within twenty minutes when the increasingly-impressive Andy Carroll rose highest to head home Barton's free-kick, as the midfielder responded in the best possible fashion to the attention he'd been getting. Newcastle stayed the better side for the remainder of the match but Marcus Hahnemann was up to efforts from Kevin Nolan and Shola Ameobi and both sides were probably happy with the point.